Bound for disaster
by noideagirl
Summary: Lily Evans. Her 7th year. She has a loving bf, good friends, is Head Girl, and top of her grade. It would be perfect, if it weren't for James Potter. Now she's forced to share a common room and organise events with him. It was bound for disaster.
1. Introduction and the Breakup

My first Lily and James fic set entirely in Lily's P.O.V! YAY ME!

AND…. IT ISN'T A ONESHOT!... YES! I WIN TWICE!

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It was her 7th year at Hogwarts. She had a loving boyfriend, Dameon, her best friend Katie and her boyfriend Jeremy, and her good friends Alice and Susan. She was Head Girl, and top of her grade (and all of Hogwarts now) in all her classes except Transfiguration. It would be perfect, were it not for her fellow Head, the Head boy, James Potter. Lily's hatred for James was legendary, her arguments with him spanning back all the way to first year when James hexed Lily's then best friend, Severus Snape. Now, in her last year, she was forced to share a common room with James Potter, and organise school events with him.

It was bound for disaster.

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She was walking through the corridors, patrolling, when she came across a secluded pair that seemed to be latched to each others lips. She sighed... this was the third pair she'd come across in the last 10 minutes.

"Ok... break it up." she said waving her luminous wand in their direction. Like the other two pairs, they broke apart like startled pigeons, moving far swifter than she expected.

"Lily?!... Oh shit!" the male voice said.

She stared at him, shocked and in horror.

"Dameon..." her voice trembled towards the end of his name.

"I... it isn't..." he stuttered, at a loss for words.

Lily kept her face calm and emotionless. "Don't bother explaining Dameon" she gave a half laugh, adding as an afterthought "James was right about you." Without another word she stalked off, keeping up appearances of indifference until she was out of sight.

Once she was out of hearing range, she started bolting down the corridors, her face streaking with her falling tears. She reached the Heads Common Room, her face drenched in tears, her loss hairs of her fringe dripping wet.

She collapsed onto the couch in front of the fire, believing that that no one would see her like this.

She buried her head in her hands, her sobs filling the room.

She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Lily?"

At the sound of the voice, her head shot up.

"Potter" she hissed, venom in her tone.

"Lily? ... Are you ok?" He asked concern for her throughout his voice.

She looked up at him with hatred, all her rage now focussed on him. "Cut the sympathetic crap." she snarled at him. She could still feel the wetness of her tears on her cheeks. This alone spurred her on to say what she said next. "Have you come to gloat Potter? Lily Evans... in tears. I bet you're happy that I'm like this! I bet that's what this has always been about! Proving that you're better than me! Smarter... stronger... well, you've got what you want now haven't you? I'm broken." she stopped, the tears starting again. "You're better than me, Potter. Happy now? You can leave me alone! You can finally leave me alone!"

"No... Lily..." James looked gob smacked. "It's not..."

Her eyes narrowed, as she stood up. "Leave me alone Potter! I don't want to see your face! I don't want to hear your voice! ... Just... LEAVE ME ALONE!"

He seemed shocked into silence.

After a minute, he sighed. "Ok Lily… if that's what you want…. I… I promise I'll leave you alone."

He smiled weakly, then walked away.

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That was three months ago.

Now… well, he'd kept his promise. He hadn't spoken to her since that incident. Hadn't even looked in her direction, not that she had seen, anyway.

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"Lily…"

She looked towards the voice.

"Yes Katie?"

"I asked you a question."

"Did you?"

"Yes Lily. But you were too busy staring at Potter to notice."

Lily blushed slightly. "I was not staring at Potter. I was just staring, and he happened to get in the way."

Katie laughed. "Sure… just like the last seven times…. Thinking about ways to hex him?"

Lily laughed. "I think I've used all the different hexes, jinxes and spells at least once. If I'm going to be original, I'll have to make my own."

"Ah..." Katie nodded wisely. "I understand. That's why you haven't hexed him in months. You don't want to look unoriginal."

"Pretty much..." Lily replied, thankful for once that she was such a great lying, and also that Katie didn't really notice much about the world around her.

Katie smirked. "Figures. That's Lily Evans to the max!"

Lily smiled.

"OI!... KATIE!" A loud voice rang across the entrance hall.

Katie sighed, burying her head in her hands.

"Remind me again why I'm dating that idiot." she muttered almost incomprehensively.

Lily smiled. "Because he's gorgeous and he loves you?" she answered.

Katie looked up from her hands. "Good point. What would I do without you Lil?"

"You'd be living in a cardboard box in Victoria, Australia. Eating sardines from month old tins, and using old newspapers as pillows." Lily joked.

"Oh yeah... I always forget that was my Aunts' plan for me." Katie replied with the same reply she always did.

Lily laughed for old times sake.

Katie squeaked randomly, as arms wound themselves around her waist. "Hey babe" a deep voice whispered in her ear, before he kissed her neck.

"Jeremy... sweetheart... how many times have I told you not to call me 'babe'?"

"As many times as I've told you not to call me 'sweetheart', BABE" he replied swiftly.

"I only..."

Lily stopped listening. As much as she loved Katie, and was happy for her being in a stable relationship, she couldn't help but feel a bit jealous when she saw the two of them together.

Sighing, her eyes travelled once again over to where the Marauders were walking.

Watching James, for the thousandth time (ok... so that may be a slight exaggeration) since their fight (AKA, her verbal attack of him), she regretted that she had ever spoken those horrible words. She hadn't meant them... not a single one.

Afterwards, she had hoped against hope that he would realise that she hadn't meant it, but he obviously hadn't.

She bit her lip. If only she wasn't so proud, then maybe she could go and apologise; tell him how sorry she is, and how she hadn't meant what she said. She didn't want him to leave her alone any longer.

"Oh James..." she whispered to herself, "Why do I always do this to myself."

She sighed, sifted the books in her hands, gave one last glance at Katie and Jeremy, then began to finish the walk to class.


	2. Potions

She arrived at the Potions classroom (well… dungeon) about 10 minutes early. She took a seat at the back. It was a habit she'd picked up after 4 years of being picked on by James. It was safer to sit anywhere behind a Marauder and where one was less visible.

No one else had arrived at class yet. Sighing, she let her head fall onto her arms which were lying on the table. She ignored the loud bang as her head landed. A loud cough from the doorway interrupted her thoughts. She jerked her head back up.

"Are you alright Lily?" the boy in the doorway asked, his voice filled with concern.

Lily attempted to smile. "I'm fine Remus."

He stared at her for a moment, then, after shifting his weight off the doorframe, he made his way towards her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, clearly ignore her fobbing him off.

She shook her head, unable to speak as a familiar lump rose to her throat. She was struggling to hold back the tears, so she leant her head back on her arms again to hide the tears.

A calming hand placed itself on her back.

"It will help to talk about it, Lil."

A sob came from her throat unwillingly.

"I am such an IDIOT!" the words were wrenched from her throat.  
"No you're not Lily. You're the smartest witch of our year."

Another sob forced its way out of her.

"Yes I am! I didn't mean it! And now he hates me!" She could feel the tears running down her cheeks.

She heard the scaping sound of a chair being pulled along the ground, and then an arm went around her shoulders.

"Are we talking about James?" Remus' calm voice asked.

She didn't reply. She couldn't.

He smiled, though she didn't see it.

"James doesn't hate you Lily. He never could." He said. She could hear the laughter in his voice.

Her head shot up. "Don't laugh at me. He hasn't spoken to me in three months! Not even to ask me out... not even when I yelled at him for missing a Prefects meeting!"

Remus smiled benevolently at her. "You told him you didn't want to hear his voice. He'd do anything to give you what you want."

"BUT I DIDN'T WANT THAT!"

"Then you should tell him that. Otherwise he'll quite likely never speak to you again."

"I... but... I can't." she stumbled over her words, as a fresh batch of tears streamed down her face.

"You have to tell him. No one can do it for you." Remus stated, his tone slightly harsh.

She looked at him nervously, biting her lip. "But... it would be like... conceding that he was right all along."

Remus smiled. "You do love him, don't you?"

She stared down at her hands. "I don't know." She said after a pause.

"But you could?"

She nodded.

"Then he was right all along. What's wrong with giving him a bit of recognition for his genius once in a while?"

Lily glared at him. "He's not a genius."

Remus grinned, trying not to laugh. "But he saw that you'd fall for him, when no one else would believe it."

Her lip twitched as she attempted not to smile. "That was sheer stubbornness, not any genius on his part."

"Well he loves you, what else was he supposed to do?"

She looked up at him, a sort of innocence in her eyes. "Does he really?"

"You shouldn't even have to ask that. Of course he does."

"PRONGS!!!! Give me back my cookie!!" Sirius' voice interrupted their conversation as he walked into the room with James. "NO! Don't eat it! ... How dare you! That was my cookie!"

Lily looked up, a smile gracing her face.

Sirius and James suddenly noticed they weren't the only ones in the room.

James looked at Lily, then at Remus, paying particular attention to his arm around her shoulders. Sirius stopped talking automatically, watching James' reaction cautiously.

James opened his mouth to speak, she watched him hopefully. He sighed, shook his head, and walked to the other side of the room to sit down.

Lily once more, let her head bang down against the desk.

Remus leaned in. "Now's your chance."

He stood up, looking down at her amused as she shook her head muttering incoherently. He whispered to her "The sooner, the better" before making his way towards his friends and sitting down. She looked up when he sat down.

As soon as he arrived, Sirius started muttering angrily in his ear. Remus shrugged, looking at James who was pretending not to be paying attention. He whispered something to Sirius, still watching James. Sirius' eyes widened, he glanced over at Lily, before Remus quietly berated him.

Lily heard Remus saying quietly "I told you not to look."

She sighed.

One by one, the rest of the class shuffled in.

"Dear Merlin. That boy is relentless" Katie said, flopping down into a chair next to her.

Lily looked at her, a phoney smile plastered onto her face. "Katie... much as I love you... I don't want to hear about your make out sessions."

Katie pouted. "Oh... but Lil... You know I love telling you." She ended the sentence by cracking up laughing.

Lily grinned.

Katie stopped laughing after a moment. "Ok... it's ok... I'm fine… I just couldn't keep a straight face…. Can you imagine me like that, Lil?" Katie's eyes widened in horror of the thought.

She suddenly put a passive face on, shook her hair out, and started twirling a piece in her fingers.

"Like, omg Lil, Jeremy is like... totally the best kisser. When he like... sticks his tongue down my throat, it's like... totally like sucking a lollypop. I mean, omg, you have to try it some time Lils."

Lily rolled her eyes. "It's amazing how convincing that look of stupidity is, Katie."

Katie giggled. "That's totally because I am such a great actress, belle. I mean, I should definitely play Juliet in the school play." She smiled inanely, and tipped her head. "Don't you think I'd look rad in a long old fashioned dress? 'Cause I totally couldn't get away with it normally. I mean…. That would be way unstylish."

Lily laughed. "You do it so well... you should go join a group like that." She glanced over at the Marauders to notice a group of giggling, simpering girls hanging off them. "Oh look, there's some over there. Why don't you join them Katie."

Katie smirked at her. "You're just jealous Lil."

"Of those girls? Whatever for?"

"They're stealing your Siri-poo away from you." Katie said, laughing.

Lily laughed loudly. "Siri-poo?" she asked, between laughs.

Katie nodded, putting on a face of all knowingness. "It is the magnificent, superb nickname for the grand Poobar of Hogwarts, Mr Sirius Black."

"Did I hear my name?" Sirius called from the other side of the room.

Katie started laughing insanely.

All Lily could hear was her laughter and the occasional "that boy...oh Merlin, that boy"

"Ok children, quiet down. We need to start the lesson." Professor Slughorn bellowed across the room.

Lily poked Katie to quiet her, then sat prepared to talk notes.


	3. The Misunderstanding

"Ok, open up your books to page 365."

The class quickly opened their books, the sound of paper rustling filling the room. Lily opened her book quicker than the rest, taking the chance afterwards to steal a glance at Potter.

He was looking back at her, leaning back against his chair, his book already open. Their gazes met for a second, before James quickly dropped his. She sighed.

"What's the matter Lil?" Katie asked leaning over to whisper to her.

She didn't answer, quickly looking away from James.

Katie looked in the direction Lily had been staring towards. She saw James trying to subtly look at Lily in the corner of his eye.

She smiled, risking a glance at Lily.

Lily had started reading the page in her potions book, doing as Slughorn had told them.

Katie immediately pulled a piece of parchment out of her page and started frantically writing.

She glanced once more at Lily to check that she wasn't paying attention, scrunched up the parchment, and threw it at James.

He caught it, read through it quickly, then nodded to Katie.

She smiled.

Lily could feel his gaze still on her, even though he tried to hide it. Just thinking about what it could mean made her feel butterflies. She wondered what this renewed attention was a result of, briefly, before just revelling in the sensation.

She struggled, the entire lesson, to keep the grin off her face.

Slughorn rambled on about the effects of the potion, and Lily without awareness made a relatively good potion, just by going through the motions.

The bell went. She looked up, surprised. She hadn't noticed the time passing.

Katie stood quickly beside her. "Lil, darling, I'm sorry about this, but I have some extra material to go over for Ancient Runes. I'll meet up with you in the Great Hall. M'kay?"

Lily looked at her through the strands of her fiery red hair. She looked nervous.

"Katie, sugarplum, if you're meeting Jeremy you don't have to make excuses. You know that."

Katie gave a short laugh. "No no. It's nothing like that. Just... trust me on this. Please?"

Lily looked at her, eyebrow raised. "When have I not?"

Katie grinned. "Thanks Lil. You won't regret it." And with that, she flounced out of the room, her school bag haphazardly slung over her shoulder.

Lily sighed. She always seemed to be the last in a classroom, packing her books up.

She walked lackadaisically out of the room.

Turning into an abandoned passageway, out of her way because she had lost track of where she was going, she heard voices. She stopped for a moment, wondering what to do.

"Look, listen to me you idiot. She likes you! Even if she won't admit it!"

"If she doesn't admit it, what am I supposed to do about it?"

A pause.

Lily decided to turn back, not wanting to listen in on an obviously private conversation.

She walked away, heading towards the Great Hall. She sat at the Gryffindor table, not noticing who was near her.

"Hey Lil. Have you seen Katie?"

It was Jeremy.

"No… I haven't. Why?"

"She… said she'd meet me outside. 10 minutes ago. But she never showed up." He looked worried.

Lily shrugged. "Knowing Katie, she got distracted by… something. It's what she does. She'll turn up soon, completely apologetic, and completely enthusiastic about the new painting on the third floor."

Jeremy smiled. "Yeah. You're right. Thanks Lil."

She smiled at him, from behind her locks of hair.

"Speaking of which…" Remus interrupted their conversation. "James never showed up either."

She looked up abruptly, meeting his eyes, startled.

"He didn't show up… to lunch?"

Sirius laughed. "I know! We were just as startled as you. But… I figure he got distracted as well… plenty of fine…" he looked at a girl seated at the Ravenclaw table admiringly "distractions in this castle."

Remus looked at him accusingly.

Lily looked down at her plate. "I guess you're right."

The Great Halls doors flew open.

Katie ran in, out of breath and dishevelled.

She hurried over towards them, plopping down on a seat next to Jeremy. "Sorry about that Jerry. I had some unfinished business I had to… finish."

Jeremy frowned, trying to understand what she was saying.

The Great Halls doors flew open a second time.

James Potter strode in, slightly less out of breath, and less dishevelled.

He calmly marched towards them, flinging himself onto a chair opposite Remus, and next to Sirius.

"Hey guys. You miss me?" he asked, before shovelling food onto his plate.

Lily looked back and forth between the two latecomers, a suspicion emerging in her mind.

"Excuse me…" she stood up, her chair scraping across the ground loudly. "I… I have some Arithmacy homework I left in the common room. I'll…" she ran out of words, and after a moment of silence, she strode from the hall.

Remus watched her go. "I'll go help her. I think I know where she left it" and with that followed after her hastily.

The rest of the group stared after them.

"He wasn't in our common room this morning." James said.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"How would he know where she left it… if he hadn't been in the common room?"

Katie sighed. "Men" she muttered. "That was an excuse, you idiot." She added, as she flung a bread roll at his head.

He caught it without effort. "An excuse for what?"

"To leave!" she banged her head on the table once. "Seriously… why is everyone so frikken stupid?"

"Lily, wait!" Remus yelled, chasing after her through the corridors. She tried to ignore him, and ignore the emotions rising within her.

"LILY! JUST LISTEN TO ME! Please stop!"

She sighed and stopped abruptly, almost causing him to crash into her. She sighed, and didn't turn around.

Remus placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know what you're thinking Lily, and you're wrong."

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Sorry for taking so long with this. I've had so much work, and then the whole Christmas thing left me with very little time to finish this.

Profuse apologies. The next one will be out sooner. AND! It will be longer. I just couldn't fit more into this one without it suddenly being double the size.

Just wanted you to know that this is now officially my only priority (until New Year) so it should come out much, much quicker.


	4. Confusion

She span around at those words. "I'm wrong, am I? How do you know?" she spat out her questions like they were venom in her mouth. Her eyes blazed with anger.

He sighed. "Lily... do you really think Katie would do... that. Especially not when she has Jeremy."

She sighed, not wanting to admit the truth of that statement. She bit her lip. "So what are you suggesting actually happened?" her voice still held a trace of rage.

"I don't know. There are many options. It's not for me to guess."

She sighed again, closing her eyes. "Why do you always have to have a smart answer?" she opened her left eye to look at him. "That used to be me, you know. I used to have all the answers." She paused. "Before all this stuff started happening."

"I know, Lily. I know." He smiled softly at her.

She faked a smile. "Off to class then, I guess."

She turned on her heel and walked away speedily.

"Lily!" Remus shouted after her.

She ignored him, shifting her bag further onto her shoulder, and kept walking.

He sighed and watched her stride away.

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_(James P.O.V)_

I sat quietly, after the disturbance had ended, eating my lunch.

I was watching Katie subtly. Katie was sitting quietly like me. Not talking, just shoving the food down as if she'd been told she only had a minute to eat until it was all taken away, and not replaced for a day. Jeremy, who was at her side, was also quiet, abnormally quiet. He kept shooting glances at her, and then at me. I wondered if he suspected anything. Katie must have noticed his glances as well since she decided to start a conversation. "Jeremy?"

"Yes?" he asked, his voice was sounding slightly strained. As if it pained him to speak. He wouldn't look at her.

"I have something I need help with." She sounded professional, as if it were a matter of life or death.

He raised his head to look at her then. "What is it?"

"Well... it's the reason I was late. It's about..."

Sirius chose this exact moment to yell at the top of his voice. "MUFFINS! WHY ARE THERE NO MUFFINS??" and the conversation was lost to me. I turned to him.

"Really, do you have to make a fool of yourself, and the rest of us, every day?" I asked.

He smiled, smugly. "It was getting boring. Far too quiet as well."

I shook my head. "You're crazy"

He laughed, loudly. Outrageously. He threw his head back and roared. "James. James. James. Of course I am. We all are! And we wouldn't be the marauders if we weren't. Silly, silly boy." He shook his head, concernedly for a moment.

"You're so predictable." I sighed.

He frowned at me. "Then why did you jump when I yelled? And why did you ask that question?"

"Because I sometimes wonder if you're really like that; that stupid."

He looked at me, aghast. "Prongs! I'm offended! I am not stupid! I just use my intelligence for important things like entertainment."

I sighed again. "I just think you should use your intelligence to consider your future. Important things like... I don't know, passing your classes."

Sirius then dramatically gasped, reached a hand over to feel my forehead then frown 'concernedly'. "No fever? I'm going to have to write this down to spending too much time with Moony, and possibly worrying too much about what Evans thinks."

I stood up abruptly. "Just reconsider your priorities, Padfoot. That's all I'm asking." After that, I righteously marched from the Great Hall.

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Lily stomped through the corridors one thought racing through her head. She wanted to block it out, wanted to believe Remus, but she couldn't. People moved quickly out of her way, knowing that getting in the way could lead to an outburst. And no one liked an angry Lily. After racing through corridor after corridor she finally reached the classroom. She hadn't even been paying attention, just following her habits. She was 10 minutes early to class. Again. That was the second time today.

She hurried towards the back of the classroom, reaching her normal chair. She dropped her bag noisily to the ground, then slumped down into the chair. "It's been a long day." She noted muttering to herself.

A note vigorously accepted by the author, who realised that the majority of this story has taken place in the one day.

"Poor Lily" the author thought, before recalling that in fact she was supposed to be writing this story about Lily and not writing her thoughts, or actions. Ahem.

Lily rested gently against the wall behind her (whilst still sitting in the chair, thus meaning she was sitting with only two of the legs on the ground. The author would like to add that this is very dangerous and should not be tried at home... or school).

Her eyes closed, she let out a sigh and attempted not to think about James. She tried to distract herself by wondering what she'd be doing in class today. Unfortunately, she discovered she had a mental block about what class she was in, so she remained preoccupied by James. So then she tried to think about a plan Katie and her had come up with, but unfortunately that brought her back to the Katie/James incident at lunch. She growled slightly under her breath.

"Lily?" a tentative voice came from the doorway.

Lily was annoyed. That was the second time it had happened today. Can she get no peace in empty classrooms?!

She wasn't in the mood to talk. "I'm not Lily. I'm Lily's twin sister Marianne who decided to just pop by and attend some of her classes." Lily replied without opening her eyes.

"Oh..." came the response.

"I was kidding you idiot. I don't have... oh..." Lily had opened her eyes, finally, to see that the speaker was...  
_drum roll  
_

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Who is the unknown speaker?!

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Is it perhaps Katie?

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Lily's long lost twin Marianne?

--

Or James?

--

The trickster buffoon Peeves?

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A previously unmentioned character?

--

Fred and George back in time??

--

**Find out next time on "bound for disaster"**


	5. Charms

She opened her eyes to see... her friend Alice looking at her perplexedly.

"Are you ok Lily?" her voice sounded uncertain.

"I'm..." she stopped suddenly, seeing James over Alice's shoulder. "Never mind..." she said it so quietly even she didn't hear it very clearly.

Alice came over and sat next to her, making Lily finally realise that she must be in Transfiguration, since Alice wasn't in any of her other subjects.

"What was that?" Alice asked.

"Oh nothing, I'm... fine, Alice. Fine and dandy."

Alice rolled her eyes. "You only ever say that when something's wrong. Spill"

Lily just shook her head, trying to see where James had gotten to. A thought occurred to her, prompted by the author who had suddenly realised that Alice hadn't been mentioned recently.

"Where were you at lunch?"

Alice flushed. "I'll tell you later."

Lily raised her eyebrow perfectly. "Dear Alice, what is the cause of this delightful blush? Has my little Alice been up to some naughty things?"

Alice laughed, albeit slightly nervously. "No. Of course not. I wouldn't even know where to start!"

Once again, one of Lily's eyebrows rose.

Alice noticed it, and shook her head. "I'll tell you later Lily. Now is not the time"

Lily found this statement to be true as the rest of the charms class arrived. Well... except the regular latecomers, but the author thinks that they hardly count... and shouldn't even turn up since all they do is interrupt the class. But anyway. Ahem.

She turned her head to view the class, and saw the Marauders sitting in their usual position near the window. Remus raised his head to look her straight in the eye the moment her eyes shifted over them. She frowned. She made a mental note to ask him how he always knew when someone was looking at him, and shifted her gaze to look at James.

He was staring absentmindedly out the window, an anxious expression on his face. She found herself thinking of how much she wanted to go over there and smooth away those furrows in his brow when... "Ahem. Earth to Lily. I asked you to move your bag..."

She turned her eyes to the direction the voice had come from and noticed her other friend Susan. "Oh... sorry. I was in another place." she said, promptly moving her bag from leaning against the chair next to her.

Susan stared at her with stormy grey eyes that looked like she was reaching into your soul. "Yes." She said in an emotionless tone. "Potterland."

She then turned around quickly and sat down. Lily stared at the side of her head flabbergast for a moment, then realised that she'd been a fool to think that Susan hadn't noticed. Susan noticed everything.

"Alright class... " Professor McGonagall had walked in, and was now beginning her lecture "We'll be learning about the Protean charm today in class. Take out your wands.

The name 'Protean' comes from the Greek Sea-God, Proteus. He was prophetic and a shape changer, meaning he could change his shape at will. Now, whilst we ourselves can't do this, the protean charm is something very useful - it allows us to change objects without using transfiguration. What the protean charm actually does is to link different items magically, so that when you change one of the items, all of the rest change in exactly the same way. It is used sometimes for long distance communication, although the potential uses are unlimited. But enough history. The incantation is _'Proteus'_, and wave your wand just like this."

The entire class began attempting the charm. Lily was only half paying attention, her mind arguing with itself about gathering up the courage to go and talk to James. And it didn't help that Katie was sitting 3 rows in front of her with Jeremy; both of them trying to subtly sneak glances at her.

She sighed, overly dramatically.

"Miss Evans, would you please stop this melodramatic sighing and at least attempt the charm" Professor McGonagall's voice cut through her contemplation.

"Sorry, Professor" Lily said uncomfortably, before achieving the charm perfectly for the professor.

Professor McGonagall's mouth twitched momentarily as she stopped herself from smiling. "Very well, Miss Evans, 5 points for Gryffindor." She strode away to another inattentive student.

"Show off..." Alice muttered to Lily after the professor was gone.

"Jealous much?" Lily questioned, winking at her.

"Of you?" Alice asked. "Nah... not really..." She replied, then poked her tongue out.

"Susan?" Lily asked, suddenly noticing her friend who was seated, writing in her black journal instead of attempting the charm.

"Yes Lily."

Lily noticed that it wasn't phrased as a question, but continued anyway.

"You're not doing the charm. Why does McGonagall let you get away with that but not me?"

"She has her reasons. We all do. Be assured in knowing AT LEAST McGonagall's reason doesn't hurt anyone and is in fact beneficial, unlike some reasons." Susan looked up, directly into Lily's eyes when she said the last statement.

Lily found herself thinking that maybe Susan wasn't talking entirely just about McGonagall with that statement.

"What do you mean?" She asked stubbornly, knowing that Susan would only divulge the information if it was necessary.

"I mean, some people are hurting others with their 'reasons'. And should stop before it explodes in their face."

"Oh..." Lily thought about that. "What if it already has exploded in their face?"

"They may think that, but there's always worse that could come." Susan looked back at her journal.

"Susan?"

"Pack up your books Lily. Now is not the time for this conversation."

Lily frowned. People seemed to be saying that a lot recently. What was wrong with the time?

All she knew was that it was time that she spoke to James. The bell rang suddenly, making her jump. Perhaps she could corner him on the way out.

--

SQUEE! TWO CHAPTERS IN TWO DAYS!!


	6. Big time stuff up

She got up hurriedly, shoving her books and quills into her bag, but by the time she made it to the door, he was gone. She sighed, thinking belatedly that if she'd listened to Susan she would have been packed up and ready to talk to James before he could leave. She frowned. "Damn that girl always being right..." she muttered under her breath, glaring. A disgruntled portrait muttered to its neighbour about "the youth of today".

"What now?" Alice asked from behind her.

Lily shrugged. "To the common room I guess. Unless you wanted to go to the library?"

Katie joined them as Lily was speaking. She pointed upwards. "To the common room! The library is so overrated... seriously, that woman is such a fusspot."

They started walking towards the common room; Lily wasn't speaking as she was thinking of James. And when would be the best time to tell him. When they finally arrived, Susan stealthily joined them, appearing almost instantaneously behind them. "Lily, don't you have something to do?" she asked, quietly.

"I don't know where to look..." Lily replied, nervously. Her hands twisting together in a nervous habit.

Susan almost smiled, before she reached out to point a finger in front of her.

Lily followed the direction with her eyes which landed on the Marauders huddled in a small group, obviously planning something. James' eyes flicked up to hers momentarily, and her heart skipped a beat.

"Go." Katie whispered softly into her ear.

Lily jumped slightly, having been unaware of Katie's presence behind her.

She sighed. Her friends seemed to be ganging up on her. She shot a quick glance at Alice, who just nodded briefly. "Fine" she muttered, and tried to will her legs to walk.

Her legs didn't seem to want to move.

Katie laughed. "Coward" and shoved her towards the Marauders.

She stumbled slightly, and noticed Sirius pointing it out to James. She felt the blood rise to her cheeks, and lowered her head forward, letting her hair cover her face.

She walked up to them, awkwardly.

They pretended that they hadn't noticed her, as she came up to stand by them. She coughed, subtly trying to get their attention.

"Oh! What is it Evans?" Sirius asked impatiently without looking towards her.

She flinched slightly at his harsh tone. "I just... well... wanted to talk to Potter"

"Can't you see that we're busy?" Sirius snapped, turning his eyes to her.

"Yes... sorry... but it won't take more..."

"Evans. I don't have time for this. Is it important?" James questioned, interrupting her rudely. Remus softly said "James..." and would have continued, but James shushed him.

"I... well... it's Heads business..." she said, making something up on the spot.

James sighed, obviously impatient. "Then it's nothing that can't wait a few hours. Tell me about it later."

Lily felt her anger rising quickly.

"I'm not a lowly pawn to your king, Potter, to be ordered to wait upon your convenience! I..."

her anger was quickly burnt away by shame as she realised that it was her temper that had gotten her into this whole mess to begin with.

She felt tears stinging her eyes, so she lowered her head forward.

"Oh never mind..." she said feebly. "It's not like its important anyway..." She raised her teary eyes to meet his momentarily. "Goodbye James." and with that she swiftly turned and started striding up towards the girls dorm rooms.

Katie looked at James angrily. "I hope that was worth it" she said before following Susan and Alice up to the dorm room to comfort Lily.

--

"What the hell was that?" James asked, turning to the other Marauders.

Sirius rubbed his head thoughtfully and almost sheepishly. "If I didn't know any better, and it wasn't Evans... I'd think she was trying to tell you she likes you."

James turned to face the other boys; a question on his face.

Remus nodded.

Peter frowned, then said "I agree. That or she was going to apologise for... that night. Either way, she'd decided you're not as big a prat as she said you are."

"So... I just stuffed up big time... yeah?"

"Yep." the three boys chorused.

"Bollocks"

They just nodded.

"You're not supposed to agree."

They smiled. "Sorry."

"So I should go talk to her… right?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair nervously.

"Yes, James." Remus said, slightly impatiently.

James smiled worriedly at his three friends, then walked towards the girls dorms. Sirius called out after him "Ah... James? ... Never mind" he finished as James tried to climb the stairs and they turned into a slide.

James stood up, frowning. "Forgot about that." He said, looking at the Marauders. "So how am I supposed to talk to her?"

Peter shrugged. "Might just have to wait until she comes down from there. We have class tomorrow, so it won't be too long a wait."

He looked to the others for confirmation. They nodded.

"I was afraid you'd say that." James said, scowling. "I'll find a way to talk to her before then. You'll see!"


	7. The end?

She was lying on her stomach, on her bed.

A hand was on her shoulder, Susan's hand.

"You need to get up."

She didn't listen. She didn't want to get up.

"Breakfast is starting soon."

She didn't care. She wasn't hungry anyway.

"And you have classes to go to."

She didn't think it would matter much if she didn't show up. She didn't think it would matter much if she never showed up again.

"You're being silly. Is a boy more important that your future? Are you going to throw everything away for your pride?"

She had no answer to that. Susan's calm, unwavering voice made the words hit harder.

"You're better than that. Show them you are."

She wanted to. Almost. But the lethargy had kicked in and all she wanted to do was lie in bed all day.

The hand was removed. "I'll come and get you after Defence. No excuses."

She almost smiled into her pillow. Susan really meant it.

The door opened softly, then closed. Lily thought distractedly about how eerily quiet that girl was. No footsteps or anything.

She snuggled into her pillow, which had hidden her tears last night. She pushed away that thought and attempted to go back to sleep.

--

"She's not here."

"I know."

"But I need to talk to her."

"Yes you do"

"But how?"

Remus sighed, frustrated. "You're a Marauder. Surely you can work it out?"

"You're right. Slide... how does one get up a slide..?" he paused, frowning. "A ladder? Rope? Like rock climbing. A broom? Would flying work?"

Throughout breakfast he spent the entire time listing possibilities, rejecting some, and consolidating others.

Until...

"Got it! Catch you later" he said excitedly, jumping to his feet and running to the doors.

The other students looked on with amusement. Alice turned to Katie and Susan. "Thats not a good sign" she said, smirking.

"Au contraire, dear Alice" Katie grinned.

Even Susan managed a smile, "It'll be all over soon." she added in her musical monotone.

Katie smiled, looking at Jeremy who was looking at them with amusement.

"We're fantastic friends, aren't we?"

He grinned. "You're witches. And not in the good way! I'm glad I'm not the source of your amusement."

Katie laughed. "Oh but you are amusing, love. Very amusing." she reached for his hand under the table and stroked it lovingly.

"Ah... young love..." Alice said jokingly.

Katie flushed. "Oh shush Alice! I know what you and Longbottom have been getting up to!"

It was Alice's turn to blush

"Who doesn't? They're not exactly subtle" Susan commented.

Alice laid her head on the table. "Leave me alone" she mumbled into it.

And the author did just that.

--

She couldn't sleep. That was a fact. But she didn't want to get up.

A loud bang sounded outside the dorm. She wondered distantly what had caused it, then promptly forgot.

Out of nowhere, she got a craving for chocolate (prompted, of course, by the author, who was sitting in a computer lab, wishing she could get her chocolate out... but alas, it was not to be).

She reached over to her bedside table, opening the second draw which was set up for moments like this.

"Wrapper... wrapper... another wrapper... Merlin that girl! Eating all my chocolates!" she huffed.

"I have one that you could have..." a voice interrupted nervously.

Her head shot up to look towards the door almost instantaneously (the author worried for a moment whether she'd have gotten whiplash).

Her face went bright red.

"How... why... what?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a chocolate frog. "It's yours if you want it..."

He held it out towards her, walking across the room.

She just stared at him.

His hand dropped when she didn't move.

He bit his lip.

"I'm sorry for bursting in on you like this." he raised a hand to run it nervously through his long black hair. "I just... thought we should talk."

She still stared at him, shocked by his sudden appearance. And also worried about the fact that she'd been in bed all morning and probably had bed hair... and a red face from crying... and etc... her thoughts wandered. (She didn't in fact, but unfortunately for her, there was no mirror facing her bed and so she couldn't see that for herself.)

He began feeling more and more nervous, as she continued not speaking.

"You know... about.. um... I wanted to apologise for yesterday. I'd had a bad day, and I really wanted to get what I was doing finished... and I know thats no excuse... and I feel horrible about it, and well... I'm sorry."

She started smiling. He was kind of cute when he was nervous.

He took courage from the small smile on her face, and continued rambling.

"And... whatever it was that you wanted to say to me, I would like to hear it. If... of course, you still want to tell me. I'd understand if you don't. I wouldn't want to tell me if I were you. and um... I'm such an idiot. so... yeah..."

A hand shot to his hair again.

She was smiling openly now.

"Shut up James" she said, amusement and a hint of affection in her voice.

"Oh sorry... I" he started apologising.

She began untangling herself from her bedsheets in an attempt to get up. James had forgotten she was in bed, and so blushed profusely when she started getting out, dressed only in her nightgown.

"Ah... Lily?" he asked, nervously.

She crossed the metre that was between them quickly. The distance between them now was minimal. James forgot how to breath; she was willingly standing very close to him, her tangled hair was brushing against his neck and shoulder.

"James. You don't have anything to be sorry for." she said softly, staring at his neck so she didn't have to look at his face. "I do. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you. You didn't deserve it. You were just trying to be there for me. I'm so sorry... I don't know why you put up with me" her eyes started to water, and her voice was unsteady.

His heart clenched painfully at seeing her like that.

"It's ok Lily. You were upset. It's understandable" he reached out to place a hand tentatively on her shoulder.

"It's not ok! I'm such a bitch! ... I don't deserve you" The last part was mumbled so quietly he almost didn't hear.

But fortunately he did (otherwise things could have gone nowhere fast... and the author would have had to do some rearranging, and the characters really don't like that) and in an instant had pulled her into a hug.

"Don't say that" he said fiercely. "Don't even think that" he was speaking into her hair now, her face resting on his shoulder. "You're amazing."

Her hands clenched around him when he said that, her heart fluttering in her chest.

She mumbled something into his shoulder.

A smile spread across his face. "I didn't quite catch that Lily."

She pulled away to look at his face. "Did you mean that?" she repeated, eyes burning intensely.

"Of course I do" he said, purposely using the present tense.

Her heart attempted to leap out of her chest at this point (an event that definitely would have been embarressing if it had succeeded. And also potentially life threatening).

"I love you" she blurted out unexpectedly for all involved. Instantaneously her hand flew to her mouth and she blushed profusely when she realised what she'd said.

He stood eerily still, shocked into speechlessness, and immobility.

She attempted to pull away from him, sure that she'd just ruined everything.

However, the moment he felt the pressure on his hands, as she tried to pull out of them, he reacted. He pulled her roughly towards him, taking a moment to stare down at her red tear-stained face, before leaning down to capture her lips with his.

Her mind melted.

All that mattered was that his soft lips were on hers, that his arms were around her, that she could taste the fruit from his breakfast on his lips.

Lifetimes passed. Or minutes. Neither of them cared.

They pulled away, breathing heavily.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for you to say that" he said breathlessly, leaning his forehead against hers.

"No? How long then?" she asked, jokingly.

"My whole life" he said softly.

Her heart fluttered in her chest, and she pulled him closer to her.

"Does this mean..." she trailed off.

He pulled away to kiss her forehead. "I love you, Lily Evans" he said as he pulled back again. He leaned forward a moment later to place a chaste kiss on her lips. "Go out with me?"

She had to stop herself from giggling. "Of course"


	8. Authors Note

* * *

AN: I was going to add another chapter to this, but I've lost all inspiration, and have decided that what I would have written probably would have ruined the tone of the story anyway, so I'm going to end it here.

Sorry for anyone who wanted me to continue this, but it's just not going to happen.

Hope you enjoyed the earlier chapters.

All my fangirl love,

Noideagirl.

* * *


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